Bloomberg – Gather round, children, to hear about the investments you’ve been waiting for. They suggest that you might get positive returns in any economic climate, regardless of whether stocks are going up or down.

Wait — don’t run! It’s not Bernard Madoff or even R. Allen Stanford, the mini-Madoff, who allegedly bilked savers out of $8 billion in supposedly high-rate certificates of deposit. It’s sanctified by hedge funds and brought to you by America’s finest financial engineers. What could be more inspirational than that?

I’m talking about the mutual funds whose investment strategies aim to be “market neutral” or to deliver “absolute returns.” Morningstar in Chicago, which publishes fund data, currently has 28 of them on its list, up from a handful five years ago.

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Tags: absolute-returns, bernard madoff, certificates of deposit, economic climate, financial engineers, handful, investment strategies, investments, morningstar, mutual funds, r allen, stanford, stocks

In the News – A fund of hedge funds run by two members of US vice president Joe Biden’s family was marketed by firms connected to Sir Allen Stanford, it has been claimed.

The Texan billionaire is facing charges over a $9 billion fraud involving certificates of deposit with unrealistically high interest rates from his Stanford International Bank in Antigua.

The claims have rocked the worlds of investment and sport, with Sir Allen heavily involved with English cricket.

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Tags: billionaire, certificates of deposit, english cricket, fraud, fund-of-hedge-funds, high interest rates, joe biden, president joe, stanford, vice president