Daily Mash (satire)- As a massive American hedge fund faces imminent collapse, millions of people across the globe have found themselves panicking without the faintest idea why.
Tom Logan, head of markets at Donnelly-McPartlin, said: "This fund was over-speculated in long-term, prime-reverse wide-money.
"It could be devastating or it could be utterly insignificant. Would you like to buy a Range Rover?"
Wayne Hayes, 42, from Chelmsford, said: "I was saying to Geoff, I said, ‘Geoff mate, this is the big one’. And he’s like, ‘why?’, and I’m like, ‘if you don’t know, there’s no point in me trying to explain it you’."
Meanwhile Nikki Hollis, 33, from Doncaster said: "It couldn’t have been very strong. Did they get it from Homebase? I hope they managed to get all the little birds nests out."
